Every day is an opportunity to make a difference
Michelles Story
Celeste McCranor
On August 9th 2001 with my husband Tim by my side our baby girl Celeste was born sleeping after a 14 hour labour. She looked perfect but in that very moment all of our hopes and dreams for our baby were gone. We would not be going home with our daughter, instead we would be arranging a funeral.
We had no idea until this moment what Stillbirth even was, we understood miscarriage as we are all warned about the risks of this in the first few months, but no one talks about the statistics of Stillbirth or the preventable measures that could help save the life of your baby. Why, because honestly who wants to even think about their pregnancy not ending with a living baby in their arms.
Unfortunately I had a blood clotting condition, that only appears when I am pregnant. My little girl was not getting all the nutrients she needed to thrive and put weight on. She was born looking perfect but her heart could just not beat strong enough to survive coming into this world.
After
It was not surprising that I developed depression soon after, unfortunately the day Tim rang the help line for parents “like us” a counsellor was not available. I never reached out again and suffered in silence. I eventually went back to work, and the routine of daily life.
I went on to have two more pregnancies, in late 2002 my son Luke was born, I endured a very stressful pregnancy, monitored weekly, with numerous scans, injections, blood tests and daily Aspirin (under medical supervision).
We were pregnant again in 2005, but at 13 weeks we were advised initially at our scan all was okay, only to then be told ten minutes later by the specialist that no unfortunately our baby had no heartbeat.
Depression, like grief is tricky, it sneaks up on you, and triggers can vary. I could be alone lost in my thoughts, watching Luke play sport or I could be driving along in the car singing along to a song.
Discovering my love for running the trails has been my therapy and I am so glad I found it.
Running
In 2008 my running started to evolve from a Sunday 5km to hitting the trails with the Planb Fitness group. It was these sessions that left me feeling amazing, clear headed and wanting more.
I was soon running a couple 5kms during the week and then hitting the trails on the weekend with the training group.
In 2010 at 40 I entered my first trail event as part of a team in Lorne, Victoria, it was hard and I loved it. From then on I knew this is what I loved, being out in nature, running, which made me feel lighter.
The races I entered started getting longer with my longest to date being 100kms in the Blue Mountains. I have ran this race twice, nine years apart. Aside from the 2022 Ultra-Trail race I have spent the past six years just running my own courses in the Adelaide Hills, preferring the serenity when I am on my own.
